Cow's Milk, Goat's Milk & Mother's Milk

Something about the wee frickin' hours of the morning that make me want to get on here and type away. I'm not sure why, and I don't plan to waste much time thinking about it. Today is my birthday, and I'm sitting here at work. When I go home I am going to bed. When I wake up I am going to a friend's Stag and Doe. Happy flippin' B'Day!!! But seriously, I'm looking forward to going this evening. Partly because I'd like to support my friend's upcoming wedding by giving my time and money to aid their cause, mostly because I want to see my friends and co-workers get drunk and humiliate themselves. Again. Yesterday was the bride's shower, which of course I did not attend (Women only at these affairs, you know). I bring this up because word filtered back down to me that a conversation that I had with the bride the other day was a hot topic at this event. The conversation was in regards to breast milk. It seems I am a bit of an anomaly since I have not partaken in the age old ritual of breast milk tasting. I have not invited friends and family to a soiree, indulging in good food, good company and the oh-so-popular Mother's Milk Sampler. There are many methods of partaking in the Milk taste challenge. Some participants drink from bottles or multi-coloured party cups, while a select few get to tap the keg directly, so to speak. Some of the better endowed (or more flexible) mothers may enjoy a solo-suckle, while others will have to rely on steady aim. Protective eye gear is recommended for first time participants in the latter. Now, upon realization of how much of a pariah I have become in the Milk Lover's social circle, I still have no burning desire to rush out and taste this sweet nectar of life. I mean, realistically you can extract milk from a lot of things and I'm in no big hurry to sample the fruits of those labours. In closing, the argument presented to me by the leader of the Pro-Tasting Comittee was that this is something that is produced by your body, and there is nothing disgusting about tasting it. My reply to her, and to all you supporters out there, is simply this: My body produces a lot of things too, but you won't see me sampling any of my excretions.