Take Two Of These And Call Me In The Morning

As a worker with benefits I don’t usually think too much about prescriptions. However, being a jaded, ignorant jerk, I do usually think about the process of getting one filled. I look at the role of your everyday neighbourhood pharmacist. I look at the years of schooling, and the degrees these guys need, and then I wonder, what kind of qualifications does this job seriously need? I mean really? I have watched pharmacists very closely (while hangin out for the mandatory 20 minute waiting period they enforce before you get your meds) and realize that you could get a trained monkey to do the same job. How hard is their day? They show up, decrypt a series of scribbles, take a bunch of pills from a big bottle, put them into a small bottle, then send you on your way. That is their job. If you gave me an economy size jar of Tylenol and said "Put 20 of these in this little bottle", I’m pretty sure I’d be up for the challenge. So why is it that you need schooling for this? I’m certain that as long as you can read and count you could perform this task pretty admirably. Best of all, the stores generally give these workers a vantage point a good foot and a half above the average everyday Joe who needs a prescription filled. This way they get the optimum amount of space required to push pills around. I know that it would be an insurmountable task if they were on the same level as us. They have to be a good head taller than those around them to perform at their optimum "pill moving" level. Are they trying to feel more important? Are they upset because doctors can make people remove their shirts? Maybe to make them feel better we give them a spot to look down our shirts instead. Not as good, but still effective.

I think that doctors don’t like pharmacists too much either. I mean, they could easily print prescriptions in nice legible handwriting. Instead, probably just to piss off the almighty pharmacist, they scribble something unintelligible on a scrap of paper and say "Screw you! Try to decode this one, jackass!!! " Which I guess brings up another obvious question. How do we know we actually got what we were prescribed? We are really just taking this guys word for it. He could be throwing Tic-Tac’s into a bottle and telling us it’s medication. Who’s going to question him? He probably can’t read the prescription and says, "Screw it! I don’t care what this guy needs, he’s getting some breath mints, and that’s it! "

But just to leave you with a reversed viewpoint, here’s my final thought. What if the pharmacists are the real brains of the medical game? What if the doctors are just scribbling on a paper because they have no idea how to cure anything? Maybe the pharmacist is the one who really knows what’s going on. The doctor throws in the towel, and the pharmacist has to figure out what it is that’s really going to cure you. Kinda makes you wonder about those shady looking doctors.

Anyways, I'm outta here for now. But beware, I'm on the hunt for my next target. Piss me off, and it could be you. Until next time....